I decided to starting blogging again. Partly because I felt like I needed somewhere to share my thoughts and I didn't want to bug any of my friends with trivial issues and such.
So I've started thinking: Why am I the way I am? I mean, why am I the un-serious guy? I don't understand why its so hard for me to not crack jokes and try and be the life of the party. I guess I feel like I'm being too obnoxious sometimes in a group setting. Ahaha. Wow this is really cheesy.
Mmmk. So I'm usually against going to dances because there are more negative aspects to them than positive. And to be completely honest, I was never really interested in those kinds of events anyway, so I never made an effort to go. But prom is a bit of a different story. At first, I was against it; especially because it just cost too much. But people around me have been pressuring and pushing me to go to at least prom. I think I've given in to the pressure: I think I want to go.
Now comes the headache. One of the biggest reasons I don't want to go to dances is because relationships become very complicated. One might think that the other is giving him or her signals, but they might be misread. And if you go with a friend, that line between friendship and courtship. Feelings are pretty hard to control. And so, I have no idea who to go with. I guess I do have some time to think about it though.
College: honestly, I don't know who it was that said senior year was all play and no work. College apps are pretty dang stressful and I'm not even applying to that many. I feel so...worried for my future, but at the same time, I don't really care. I guess I want something, but I don't want to do the work to get there. Hehe, I'm so lazy. My first college application is due next week, but I still need to finish up the personal statement. And after that, I have to start the personal statements for the UC's! Oh man. And where am I going to find time to study for my SAT II subject tests in the December? I guess I've been having a lot of wishful thinking lately. And lets keep it at that.