This weekend, I've rejected by my two choice schools: UCLA and UCSD.
To be honest, I imagined myself crying at that the words "We regret to inform you that..." but it was just numbness. Shock? Disappointment. I didn't know what to think or say.

I guess I got over the rejection to UCLA sooner than I thought. Even though it was my number 1, I knew that chances were slim. But UCSD, I thought I had a chance. I had hope. But I was rejected. And now I feel depressed. I don't feel better at the thought that most everyone got rejected, but just bitter at the people who did.

Looks like UC Irvine is the most likely and realistic option for me. Its not like its a bad school or anything because its not. And that's not the reason I'm feeling down. Its the fact that I got rejected from SD, my target. I thought I was worth that much.

Funny, I imagined this day so differently way back when. I used to think to myself that even if I ended up going to a community college, I would thank God for everything and the things he's provided thus far. But I'm not in a good place right now with God, so so much for that.

Hmm. Oddly, the people who come up to me and try and cheer me up are irritating me. I mean, I'm thankful that they care enough to try and raise my hopes or anything right now but I guess I just don't feel like I need it at the moment. I think this disappointment needs to play itself out. Don't feel like doing anything right now.