Graduation.

So I've finally graduated. I'm no longer a senior in high school.
I thought I would've felt differently about it than my current emotions.
Perhaps, glad, excited, sad. But no, I'm just tired and content: a feeling of completeness.

And most definitely thankful, to all the people in my life and of course God.
I've been a long way since way back when and it feels good for the journey, this chapter to have finally come to a close. Its time for a new chapter in my life and I have good prospects about it.

Letter from 7th grade.

Dear Jonathan Shin,
If you recieve this letter, congrats! You are a graduating senior at Crescenta Valley High School. You are about eighteen or nineteen years old. You can drive! All of your childhood, you've always wanted to drive and now you have. I know that the writing is freakishly messy but believe it or not, this letter came from you in 7th grade. Yup. Today's date is June 21, 2005. 2005! That was five years ago. I bet that you already forgot all bout this letter right? Well summer is coming up in a couple of days and I'll be an eight grader next year in Rosemont. I would have put money in here except that I don't have money rite now. I'm now in Ms. Estrada's class. She is turning 30 tomorrow and she is still single. Go check up on her to see if she got married yet or not. She was always stingy when we accidentally said Mrs. Estrada. You might be really interested in reading this letter by not but when it comes to end in about half a page, you'll regret that you only wrote as much as this letter contains but in 7th grade, you only wanted to finish this assignment and get on with life. Are you still going to Light of Love mission church? Dang.If you are, you've been attending that church ever since you were a little toddler. Did Dad give you his car yet? He promised remember? David Shin is gonna get Mom's car and Ruth will have to travel around on a bike. HaHa. Funny. But sad. What college or university did you get into?
Did you get into UCLA? That was your goal remember? If you did, CONGRADULATIONS!!! If you didn't, you never kept your goals anyways. I feel so dumb writing to myself. I wonder if anyone else in the class feels kind of stupid. No? Just me? Oh well. Are you still a loner? Are you still a game addict? Did you change at all? I would put a photo of me but I don't have a picture and I was never very photogenic. Congrats again on graduating high school. Do you have a girlfriend? You are so hot. Of course you'll have a girlfriend by now right? Do you still play maplestory? Remember that game? I'm level 25 right now but I still don't have a panlid. Do we still have Happy? That Yorkshire Terrier is so cute. Is she gone? Did she get run over by a car like Terry did? Who named Happy again? Oh yea. It was my sister and grandma. By the way, how is grandma? Is she getting by? I hope she is in good health. You should get her a gift with flowers and a card. Just for the heck of it. She'll love them. Well I'm running out of paper and I reached my minimum writing point of 1.5 pages so I'll sign off. If you really liked this letter, go to Ms. Estrada and say thank you. Well, you don't have to but if you feel like it, then do so. And one more thing. Right now, mom and dad is having hard times with work so make sure to help them and show them this letter that I wrote.

Sincerely,
Jonathan Shin

P.S. You are sexy! lol (smiley face)

Today, I was thinking about me. Who I was. Who I've become.
I've realized that I am not the same Jonathan from 2009.
I've changed and sadly, I cannot say for the better.

I used to be a nice guy. Someone who all my friends' parents loved.
Someone who wasn't a bad kid, but instead a kind, conservative teen who you'd never expect anything bad from.
But here I am. Sitting in this spot. What happened?
Was it the car accident? Was it stress? Friends?

Regardless of the cause, I must concentrate on the effect it has had on me.
That isn't to say that I'm not a nice guy anymore. Its just, I'm not the same.
When did I start all this?

I don't know any of this for sure, but I do know one thing.
I don't like what I've become and now I am determined to change once again.
I don't want to let go. Never.

This is how it ought to be...

So yesterday I watched Definitely Maybe.
Initially, I thought it was going to be another one of those corny, cheesy romantic movies, but I was wrong. Although it was mildly predictable, it was something new and refreshing in terms of this genre. I cannot deny that I liked that movie a lot. It was....dare I say it?...cute.

I want to meet a girl that's spontaneous, funny, cute, imperfect, and yet has that attribute to her that makes me want to become perfect: a girl that doesn't have to tell me explicitly to change this and that, but rather someone who makes me want to become a better person for her. Perhaps someone that loves me for who I am, and yet able to live with my rather large imperfections.
Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic...but is this too much to ask?

By the way, Isla Fisher is hot.

Life without regrets?

The thing I most fear is making regrets
Is making mistakes that I might never forget
Doing things that might leave scars
Things that would make my heart hard

But how can I live on in fear?
How can I be always wary of tears?
How can I go on always on guard
How can I go very far?

Cuz if you're regretting then you ain't living
And if you're looking back then you ain't giving
And there's more to life than sitting
Watching and waiting for fitting

So I'm gonna go out and live
Forget the mistakes and forgive
I can't stand it here any more
I'm not gonna live like before

I'm gonna lift my voice
Like I have a choice
Sing it loud
Lift my voice and shout
Open my arms wide
Like I've got nothing to hide



Some rough attempts and lyrics. I need inspiration for a new song.