Just came back from running. When I run, I get really tired but afterwards, I feel great. I also have time to recollect my thoughts. As the background moves past me, my world slows down. Something that's been on my mind lately is my identity; specifically, my faith.
I feel like I've put Christianity on hold for the past few weeks. Its as if one day, I just said "Dang, this is difficult" and quit. I feel ashamed to say the least; to call myself a Christian, a worship leader, a small group leader, an older brother. I've realized that my prayers have been asking God, "Please, make me hate sin," constantly asking for the easy way out. Christianity isn't about the easy road.
I've been thinking about starting to lead again soon. This "taking a break" deal has spoiled me, and undone my discipline. I'm tired of pretending; I want to be real, raw before the God who see's all.


So God, make me naked.
Make me uncomfortable.
Draw me close. I need you.