Am I happy with where I am right now? No, not entirely.
Time for a change?
I guess I should either keep the promises I make to myself, or stop making promises I know I won't keep. Self-discipline is hard to come by.

God are you there?
Do you speak only when I listen? Or can you talk to me even when I'm not listening?
I know its arrogant of me to even ask this, because you initiated with the whole dying on the cross thing. And I know that it was more than a huge step, but it would make being a Christian a whole lot easier.
I can feel myself backsliding. And inevitably, there is guilt, but there is also a freedom that Christianity does not offer.
Having been born in generation X, I am more prone to immediate rewards, the now and not the later.
I feel like Christianity is a future investment in life after death, but living in the world is more like living in the NOW, experiencing the short life I have here on earth.

I know I'm taking advantage of His grace, but sometimes, the whole routine gets suffocating, and I need a breather. So God, if you're there, now would be a good time to break that silence.