Reflecting on how my life has been these days, I'm worried for college.
I've been playing hard this entire semester.
I know no one's going to be at college with me forcing me to go to class or to study.
God, please give me motivation and determination to get that 4.0.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Looking back on past days in 2009, I've realized that a lot has happened since then.
2010 has been quite a bit of struggle.
Many things learned, heard, felt, the bulk of which has had a pretty negative impact on me.
I've become quite aware of things going on around me, but at a great cost.
I've realized that I've lost a certain part of me due to a slow onset of cynical thoughts and negative thinking.
And now I need to get back in touch. I need to recover.
I want to become myself again. Before it all.
2010 has been quite a bit of struggle.
Many things learned, heard, felt, the bulk of which has had a pretty negative impact on me.
I've become quite aware of things going on around me, but at a great cost.
I've realized that I've lost a certain part of me due to a slow onset of cynical thoughts and negative thinking.
And now I need to get back in touch. I need to recover.
I want to become myself again. Before it all.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Rant About My Present and Future Prospects of Love.
Dang it all. I blame the media for our heightened expectations and standards for our significant other. I mean, what are the chances that you'll find someone so dang perfect, good-looking, smart, and without error? I mean, I think most people realize that no one is perfect, and yet, some part of them wishes that someone would get close enough. Hahaha.
The reason that I haven't been in a relationship yet is simply because I realize that high school relationships are bound to end. Two hormonal teenagers not yet fully mature + infatuation = recipe for disaster. So far, I look around at all of the people around me in relationships and this rule holds true. I don't know a single couple from middle school that has lasted til now. Why should high school be any different?
But still, this skeptical and wary view at relationships has cost me experience. And though I'll have plenty of chances in the future(I hope), I cant help but wish I had a girlfriend; someone to laugh with, someone to make happy, someone to hold, someone to talk to.
I guess this is nothing but a bitter rant with media as a scapegoat. I know I still have the world ahead of me(yes, I realize La Crescenta is not the world) and thus many shots at love, but I'm just impatient. WIFEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
What if I knew who I was going marry? If it wouldn't jeopardize "fate" or the future, I would find her and start now. Haha. I mean, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her, I want to make sure I know her inside and out. Dang. Marriage seems so far ahead of me. I don't even know why I'm thinking about these things. I feel slightly feminine. Do other guys think about this stuff?
The reason that I haven't been in a relationship yet is simply because I realize that high school relationships are bound to end. Two hormonal teenagers not yet fully mature + infatuation = recipe for disaster. So far, I look around at all of the people around me in relationships and this rule holds true. I don't know a single couple from middle school that has lasted til now. Why should high school be any different?
But still, this skeptical and wary view at relationships has cost me experience. And though I'll have plenty of chances in the future(I hope), I cant help but wish I had a girlfriend; someone to laugh with, someone to make happy, someone to hold, someone to talk to.
I guess this is nothing but a bitter rant with media as a scapegoat. I know I still have the world ahead of me(yes, I realize La Crescenta is not the world) and thus many shots at love, but I'm just impatient. WIFEY, WHERE ARE YOU?
What if I knew who I was going marry? If it wouldn't jeopardize "fate" or the future, I would find her and start now. Haha. I mean, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her, I want to make sure I know her inside and out. Dang. Marriage seems so far ahead of me. I don't even know why I'm thinking about these things. I feel slightly feminine. Do other guys think about this stuff?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Freewrite: King Lear
In hopes of helping me write my essay, I'm going to try something new. A free write.
King Lear and Gloucester are the prime examples of subjects able to physically see, but without the ability of insight nor clear vision. Both are disillusioned into making drastic errors in judgment by banishing their loyal children and subject (on Lear's part) and appointing their wicked children as heirs. Lear does not realize his mistake until he is driven mad by the cruel treatment of his wicked daughters. Gloucester gains clarity in insight after he is unable to rely on his physical eyes to see.
Lear's perspective is unmistakeably superficial. He loves the empty words of praise showered upon him by his wicked daughters despite the lack of love behind them. This superficial perspective prevents Lear from seeing through the physical garments and simple disguise worn by his most faithful and loyal servant, Kent.
Gloucester is also in a similar predicament. With a simple letter written by his illegitimate and wicked son, he becomes convinced of his noble, legitimate son's treachery and treason. However, once he loses his sight, he gains insight of the condition of his situation. Immediately after he is blinded, Gloucester quotes:
King Lear and Gloucester are the prime examples of subjects able to physically see, but without the ability of insight nor clear vision. Both are disillusioned into making drastic errors in judgment by banishing their loyal children and subject (on Lear's part) and appointing their wicked children as heirs. Lear does not realize his mistake until he is driven mad by the cruel treatment of his wicked daughters. Gloucester gains clarity in insight after he is unable to rely on his physical eyes to see.
Lear's perspective is unmistakeably superficial. He loves the empty words of praise showered upon him by his wicked daughters despite the lack of love behind them. This superficial perspective prevents Lear from seeing through the physical garments and simple disguise worn by his most faithful and loyal servant, Kent.
Gloucester is also in a similar predicament. With a simple letter written by his illegitimate and wicked son, he becomes convinced of his noble, legitimate son's treachery and treason. However, once he loses his sight, he gains insight of the condition of his situation. Immediately after he is blinded, Gloucester quotes:
I have no way and therefore want no eyes;
I stumbled when I saw. Full oft 'tis seen,
Our means secure us, and our mere defects
Prove our commodities. (IV.i.18-21)
His eyes stumbled him and prevented him from seeing the truth.
Lear does not gain insight until near the end of the play when Cordelia arrives at her father's side.
Only then, in his murky state of mind, does he see Cordelia for the noble and loving daughter that she is.
Monday, April 12, 2010
So as spring break winds down to its finally blissful moments, I can't help but dread the upcoming mornings of struggling to open my eyes and to painfully, grudgingly bring myself out of bed for an early morning of zero period AP Econ. Wooohoo!
Anyway, I went to visit my future school UC Irvine this break and it was pretty awesome. Even though the school may be smaller than most UC's the campus is actually pretty nice. The buildings are all modern, yet the campus retains a bit of a relaxing, nature-friendly environment which is dandy for me. Oh, and I've probably already said this a thousand times, but Newport beach is just 15 minutes away! The picture above was taken with my phone the day I visited. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm pretty excited for Irvine.
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